Turd Burd V2 - unlimited turdworks AKA fun with a parts car before its death

[TheBirdman]

Hey guys and gals, been a while. Long story short I just went up to northern minnesota to get a parts eagle. The lady was selling 5 eagles and 3 concords on behalf of her elderly father, so I went up there hoping to find one with the ever sought after 3.54 axles, and sadly while I didnt find that, there were two with 3.08 axles, one being this absolute dumpster fire gem.

a 1980 eagle 2 door sedan, 258, auto, no title, and beyond terminal rust in the middle of the car. Dont be fooled by the body, the only thing keeping it from folding in two is the top of the door sill and the roof.

the rockers and 90% of the steel around the front leaf mounts are as they say in kansas, duuuuuuuuuuust in the wiiiiiiiind. Do not however be saddened by the worlds loss of this fine stellar automobile, as its death will bring new life (and rear bumper) to my eagle wagon, and I plan on giving anyone who needs other parts from it a fair bargain. Ill be making a part out post in the for sale section later. For now though, Im going to have some fun with it. My curiosity got the best of me, and with the excuse that I wanted to test the axles before removing them, I had the engine running and the blue meanie putting up and down the street, all it took was a battery, swapping the wheels from eagle prime, a few quarts of atf, and a gocart gas tank. The brakes even worked first try, and after driving around and grinding the rust off, are not too shabby at all. After that, I took all the smog garbage off the engine, plugged all the vacuum leaks, and it actually runs really nice. I didnt even have to lobotomize the CEC, as apparently, 1980 eagles, or at least this one didnt have it at all. Just a duraspark box, non-feedback carter, and a smog pump.

Anyways, after driving it around the block a few times, and inspecting how the leaf spring mounts dangle in the breeze, I was filled with confidence in the structure of my main eagle, because if this thing didnt implode bombing through the dip at the end of my driveway, my halfway gone leaf mounts will hold up to anything. Pondering the nature of the problem further, I devised an elegant and yet accessible solution, for anyone struggling with the same oxidation problems as me. Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair, behold, The Birdman Procedure

In a true testament to the world class engineering at amc, the leaf spring mounts, once free of their floor panels, are the perfect dimensions to wedge a 2x4 in and hammer into place against the only structural part of the car that usually doesnt rust, the roof frame. The car is significantly more rigid after the procedure, and no longer rides like the sway bar got drunk and left to buy cigarettes 9 years ago.

Tonight I began work on putting my MC2100 and HEI left over from eagle prime onto this oxidized deathtrap, for reasons even I dont understand. Anyways, while its here, and has no future other than to entertain me for a moment before going under the knife, does anybody have suggestions of things to try, for science sake or just good ol shits and giggles?


PS if anyone wants the number of the lady selling off the eagle hoard, PM me, shes eager to get them off the property and while theyre rough, theyre going cheap.

[amcfool1]

hi, great story! BTW, that 1980 EAGLE 258 is the ONLY 258 (bolt in to an Eagle) that has the "unlightened" block, the one with the 7 main bearing crank, and steel valve cover. The "lighter" redesign came in 1981. Worth keeping.
Are any of the Concords floor shift? Tilt column?
Thanks and good luck,   gz

Also, the front fenders are unique to the 1980 model.

[TheBirdman]

I dont recall, I didnt get a good look at the concords as I was in a rush to check every front axle tag and drag one onto the trailer before the sun went down.

[atmafox]

Well given those fenders are unique to 1980 I might could use a spare pair if you're up for selling those.  Biggest problem would be getting them to be: I'm in northern Colorado.

[vangremlin]

Methinks you might have a little too much time (and Budweiser) on your hands 

But I applaud your ingenuity for coming up with that bracing solution 

[TheBirdman]

The fenders arent really in that good of shape, the left one is badly rusted and the right one is starting to rust through too, and since I considered them both unsalvageable 2 days ago, I cut a bit out of the front bottom corner of them so they would quit rubbing on my good set of tires. I did get the flares and trim off without any damage though.


I do occasionally dip through northern CO on the way to utah to see family if you are interested in any parts. I can load up a crate and drop it off at a rest stop somewhere with a note

[atmafox]

Ok yeah I could use the flares but the fenders are too far gone.  Next time you're through the area let me know and I'll arrange to meet you at a rest stop or wherever is convenient.

[vangremlin]

I'd be interested in the bumper end caps, the trim around the landau roof, and the plastic trim around the opera windows, if any of those are in good shape.  Thanks!

[TheBirdman]

Actually all of those things are in pretty decent shape. Ill get them all rounded up and some pics taken one of these next few days. You want the opera window glass too? theyre just held in with two clamps from the inside.

[atmafox]

Actually how's the plastic piece coming down off the back today's the bumper?  Mine is disintegrating even just sitting.

[vangremlin]

Actually all of those things are in pretty decent shape. Ill get them all rounded up and some pics taken one of these next few days. You want the opera window glass too? theyre just held in with two clamps from the inside.

Yes, I may as well take the glass too.  Thanks!

[TheBirdman]

Actually how's the plastic piece coming down off the back today's the bumper?  Mine is disintegrating even just sitting.

Its funny you ask, Ive been so fascinated with how that plastic part specifically basically turned to ash and disintegrated.
so that one would actually be super easy to ship, as dust in a jar.

[atmafox]

Yup, mine has pieces break off with the car just sitting in the driveway.  Thanks, didn't figure it was intact but had to ask.

[Illeagle1984]

With all that missing metal, she must have nearly the power-to-weight ratio of a normal car!  At least she got to romp up and down the street one last time.  That 2x4 x-brace is the coolest dumb idea I've seen in a while. 

[TheBirdman]

I did clean up the carter a little and put some advance in the distributor and take it for a few full throttle passes up the road. It does not have anywhere close to a normal power to weight ratio, it does however have the highest misery to speed ratio of any car ive ever driven.